I’m Going to Try This Out

Trying to be good

Trying to be good

This week I’m trying something new.

Well, kind of.

I adopted this mantra years ago, when I was going through some turmoil in my life and trying to find a way to make myself feel… well… less like I hated myself: Just be good.

And it worked like a hot, sweaty farmer. What I ate, drank, saw, read, said, did… All of it was focussed on making choices that were for good, and I felt it. In fact, I have never felt as amazing as I have at that point in my life. Detoxing the mind, body and soul let me feel good from the very core, radiating out of me.

And then I had a bad night, binged on every bit of junk food I could get my hands on and abandoned my conviction for putting into myself and the world nothing but good. It’s just so easy to slip out of good habits and back into old ones.

I’m finding myself feeling pretty crummy again, lately, about who I am, what I’m doing, where I’m going, and what lies ahead. I don’t have a really good reason why I feel so low on myself. It’s not as if I’m a mega-monster or the head of a drug cartel. I guess it’s just all of the little things piled up together, making my life feel like it’s not on the right track.

So, I’ve decided it’s time to snap out of it. It’s time to adopt my mantra again.

Just be good.

I know, “good” is one of the most useless adjectives in the English language since, honestly, it doesn’t mean spit. What is “good” supposed to be, anyhow? Cupcakes with sprinkles come to mind, but I can assure you, I will not be frosting myself any time soon.

Unless I have a good reason to do so (there it is again… “good”). Like a fund-raiser for children without birthdays, or a donut-a-thon. I’m not sure what a donut-a-thon is, but it sounds like something I should be in on. If it exists. Which it should.

Anyways, here’s my plan (quit snickering, I have carried through with a plan or two in my life – dang lack of motivation and fear of failure):

Quit doing things that make me feel less “good”. (Like gossiping or holding a grudge.)

Do things that make me feel like a “good” person. (Practicing yoga and finally organizing this volunteer project I’ve been thinking about pops to mind.)

Basically, if it feels right, do it. Right to me, that is. Your “right” might not match up with mine, but it doesn’t make it any less the right thing for me to do.

So here I go. Purging bad habits and inviting in more positive thoughts, actions and words.

I truly believe that what you put into the world comes back to you. Let’s see if this positive focus can help turn this inside frown upside down.

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