This past March my partner, S, and myself decided to start trying to add another baby to our family of 3. We had considered that it could take a while to conceive, and were prepared to wait patiently while life took it’s course. March 12th I stopped taking my birth control pill, and by April 16th I took my first positive pregnancy test. Apparently I’m miss fertility 🙂
During the weeks leading up to a positive pregnancy test I was feeling stressed. One night after “doing the deed” I looked at S and I said “S, we just made a baby”. I have no idea how I knew, but i just did. Call it a mother’s intuition, or just hoping it to be true, but I knew.
A few days later, I went over to my friend Hannah’s house and sat on her sofa, talking with her and one other friend. I asked them if they thought I was essentially crazy because it had only happened 5 days ago, and yet I was starting to experience pregnancy symptoms. All of a sudden I became so tired that I could hardly function. I was needing to eat every hour or I would be sick. I started to notice changes to my body that only happen during pregnancy (for me at least). On April 1st and 2nd i felt the implanting. I experienced really bad cramping and I went home and told S that I was pregnant. Or if I wasn’t, then I was totally crazy and needed help.
We both wanted me to be pregnant so bad. I think I spent over $150 on pregnancy tests, and couldn’t help but take them even knowing they would be a negative because it was far too soon to detect the hormone levels. I was waiting for April 10th, that was the day I was due for my monthly visit, if it was going to come.
April 10th came and went. I took a pregnancy test that claimed I should be able to find out 5 days before Aunt Flo was due to arrive, but no, it was a negative. Then April 16th came and I hadn’t taken another test. I still hadn’t had any clear sign that my body was gearing up for a new month, so I went to the store and got another test.
The double pink line was so faint I had to squint, but as I waited it got darker and darker. I was in a public washroom and I have never been so excited in anticipation of a positive on a pregnancy test. I shot my arms in the air and said “Yes yes yes!” a million times. I picked up my little L, went outside and burst into tears. I was shocked that I had been right all along, I was shocked at my new reality (even though that was the goal), and I was so happy I couldn’t think!
During the process of trying to have a baby I learned quite a lot about fertility and the process your body goes through, even before conception.
I was on my iPad, looking up the best ways to “get down to business” to conceive, what to and not to eat, and the timeframe you have a possibility for “business time” to lead to conception (7 days), where only one of those days is your actual day to conceive. Honestly, trying to have a baby isn’t all fun and games. It was stressful (even though we were excited), and I thought way too much on every topic that popped into my head. Then I would have to research the things I would think about, which led to even more stress.
Now, the next we try again I’m just going to relax. I’m going to consider the 7 days in which I can conceive, and just believe that when a baby is ready to come, it will come. No more stressing about anything. When the time is right, it will happen.
Just like it did with my precious little Leo, and just like it did this second time.