Dear Mama, You’re Not the Only One

Motherhood is not all sunshine and kisses. Sometimes, to be perfectly blunt, it straight up sucks.

Maybe you’ve been there before. You’re running around, trying to balance all of the things you need or feel like you should be doing. Trying to be a good mom, a good partner, a good friend, a good housekeeper, a good human being in general.

You’ve suddenly gone from your own, independent person with your own habits and hobbies, who could eat what you want when you want it, go where you want when you feel like it, and stay at a gathering as long as you like, to being “Mum”, “Mama”, “Nnnnnnnnnnn!” or (in my case) “Dat”.

Your habits and hobbies now feel like they are restricted to cutting and mashing food into unidentifiable tidbits, fighting with your little one to actually get their shoes out of their mouth and the food in, and then picking up almost all of the carefully prepared and quickly dropped nibbles off the floor that seems will never be clean again. You try to keep calm while you struggle to get your squirmy worm of a toddler secured in their diaper, then beg them to please, please keep it on and let no more “poo-painting” extravaganzas occur. You rescue your monkey over and over again from the rocking chair they managed to climb up onto. You peekaboo so many times you think your face might explode the next time you do. You hold your little one while they thrash and scream because you would not let them stick their finger in the electrical socket (you  cruel, cruel being).

And you lose it.

Let’s be honest. Parenting a little being is frustrating. Yes, it’s wonderful and magical and soul-filling, but the moments you aren’t bursting with love, you feel like you’re barely holding it together – or you’re just done.

You might think things that make you feel like a terrible mother.

You might say things you’re thinking, but don’t truly mean later.

You might give in.

You might give up.

You might close the door to your little one and walk away while they scream.

You might scream yourself.

And you’re not alone.

From the outside, a lot of parents make it look easy. We all try to show our best selves and keep the worst hidden away. But no one is immune to this frustration.

The next time you feel like the worst mama in the world, the next time you’re at your breaking point, or have already exploded, remember we’ve all been there. While it’s not healthy to yell at our kids, or resent them for what our bad days have become, we are human. Sometimes it happens. To all of us.

You’re a good mom.

The fact that you even care if you are, makes you one.

The fact that you put in enough effort to get frustrated, makes you one.

And if you ever feel like you can’t go on, that you’re a danger to yourself or your little one, help is available.

Talk to someone. Tell a friend. Tell your family. Let them know what you’re going through. Actually, don’t wait until you get to the breaking point. Share your stories of frustration and self-pronounced failure. You may find yourself laughing (then crying, then laughing again) over the same thing that made you feel like throwing a fit. You might find out your mama friend, who always seems to have it together, feels just like you.

Don’t hide the worst. Create a community that shares the bad with the good, and supports each other when the going gets tough.

We’re all human.

And we’re all fabulous (whether we realize it or not).

What has been the most frustrating part of parenting you’ve had to deal with? Share your stories! Comment in the little box below, and if this post made a difference to you, do myself and other mamas a favour and click the handy little buttons below to share this.