Excitement with a Touch of Anxiety – Leaving Baby Overnight for the First Time
Times, they have a-changed. Gone are the frivolous days of my youth, when I would be able to go out, anywhere I wanted, wherever I wanted, drink as much as I wanted, and stay out as long as I dang well pleased. Now I am a mom, faced with a whole lot more responsibility: raising my 18-month-old little wonder.
I remember when I first got pregnant and thought to myself, Hey, 9 months of not drinking ain’t no thang. It’s not that long, and I’ll be back to sipping fancy cocktails, ciders and wine in no time. Not to make it sound like I’m an alcoholic or anything, but how refreshing is a nice cold glass of cider (or beer, pick your poison) on a hot day, sitting out on a patio somewhere? How perfect is a big glass of red wine with a scrumptious dinner and some romance (even if that romance happens to be with a slice of cheesecake)? So no, I am not a slave to the spirits, but I did enjoy letting loose with a few drinks on the weekends.
Well, once the little munchkin was born I made a realization. While she was no longer inside of me, she was breastfeeding. Of course I had “known” that booze and breastfeeding don’t mix, but again, this was one of those things that I didn’t fully comprehend until I was in my new reality. 9 months without indulgence? Ha! Even if I wasn’t nursing, I realized that I was still THE person responsible for the little miss, from now until adulthood. While I have no intentions of staying away from getting a buzz on for 18 years, I do feel like it’s the most responsible to refrain from losing my head while I have the little one to care for. Even if she’s sleeping, she could wake up, have an accident, get sick or otherwise need her Mommy to be in full working order 24/7.
So, I haven’t been able to let loose for over 2 years now. Beyond the bygone indulgence of a bevy or three, I haven’t had a whole night’s sleep without interruption in almost 2 years as well. Even before she was born, I was being kicked awake or having my bladder squished from the inside, getting me up a couple times a night. And, forget being able to have a decent conversation with someone. Everytime I’m trying to have a chat, my attention isn’t fully there, as I’m constantly keeping an eye on what the little one is getting into and having to stop mid sentance, multiple times, to redirect and help my babe.
Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom – her mom – and I wouldn’t change it for the world. However, I am pretty excited to have my first night away as a sole, independent person.
Right now I’m off to a bachelorette party in Vancouver, where I will be quite removed from diapers and sippy cups, trotting around in heels and sipping my own kind of sippy. I will get to feel like an adult again. (Although, when you think about it, raising a child and being a responsible parent is the “adult” thing to do, far moreso than hanging out at clubs, drinking and dancing. Hmm.)
Regardless, I’m looking forward to my first real taste of the baby-free world outside of a couple hours here and there. I’ll have to remember to pace myself at the bar, and soak in every ounce of “freedom” and be able to remember it the next day (I have a plan that should help, but I’ll let you know how it went after I give it a shot).
And yes, I’m sure I will miss my darling little daughter, and all of her adorable little quirks. And yes, I’ll definitely worry about how she’s coping without her mama during the night (and how my wonderful hubby is coping, too).
But not enough to pass this up.
One night, even if it goes horribly (which I doubt it will, somehow everything is smoother when mama’s not around) isn’t going to be the end of the world for either of them. But it is going to be the beginning of a new era for me. One small step for Han. One giant leap for this patient mama!
Now to read my book in peace while I enjoy the thrilling ferry and bus rides to the big city. I may even finally finish it! Hooray!