My career as a Mama has only been a short one, but there have already been some interesting utterances of things I say to my toddler. “We don’t ride the cat.” “Get that pony out of your butt!”
Here are a bunch of things that other parents on Twitter never thought they would say, but came out to add a little giggle to your day.
“Pickles are food, not hair accessories”. #boymom #ThingsINeverThoughtIWouldSay #toddlers
— Lara Molettiere (@LarasPlace) March 25, 2015
“Stop licking your sister’s tongue!” #thingsineverthoughtiwouldsay — Rick Galan (@RickGalan) October 22, 2014
“Stop trying to pollinate the cat!” #thingsineverthoughtiwouldsay cc @ReasonsMySonCry
— Pröf-like Substance (@ProfLikeSubst) June 18, 2014
“You must wipe your bottom or you will get a smelly bum and that isn’t nice.” #thingsIneverthoughtiwouldsay No #571 — Katie (@mummydaddyme) May 30, 2014
“You cannot sit in my lap while I am pooping.” #thingsineverthoughtiwouldsay #Hypatia http://t.co/kT5IowGcT7
— Robert T (@robt126) February 15, 2014
‘Jack stop eating the cat’s food’ #thingsineverthoughtiwouldsay
— Mel (@_Melanie_S) August 16, 2013
It’s like those little nuggets of feline fancy are stuffed with toddlernip.
In unrelated news, my daughter licked pigeon poo. #ThingsINeverThoughtIWouldSay — Talia Klein Perez (@taltalk) July 8, 2013
Don’t lick your brother’s eyeball! #thingsineverthoughtiwouldsay
— nguyen duong (@nguyenduong) June 29, 2013
“You need to apologize to your mommy for spitting a noodle into her ear.” #ThingsINeverThoughtIWouldSay — Jonathan Fratesi (@jonathanfratesi) May 20, 2013
#thingsisaytomytoddler: “cracker barrell is not a place to show off your pull ups”
— courtney (@courtneyhyndman) April 5, 2015
#thingsisaytomytoddler: “please stop singing Uptown Funk” — courtney (@courtneyhyndman) February 28, 2015
“Mommy’s bra is not your necklace.” #thingsisaytomytoddler
— Anna Rendell (@anna_r) August 9, 2014
#ThingsIsaytomytoddler Stop licking that book. poo goes in the potty. NO! Give me that. Don’t lick the outlet. Stop licking that. — carrien blue (@carrien_laughs) February 7, 2012
#thingsisaytomytoddler : “I get that you’re a Cinderella doggy but even Cinderella doggies have to take off their shoes for bed”
— courtney (@courtneyhyndman) April 24, 2015
“No, you don’t make out with the couch” #ThingsISayToMyToddler — Dina Mavridis (@DivaMargaritas) April 12, 2015
#thingsisaytomytoddler : “please don’t put that bagel in your pajamas”
— courtney (@courtneyhyndman) March 21, 2015
“It’s not nice to blow in the doggies butt!” #thingsisaytomytoddler #momlife #toddlerproblems #happyweekend — parentwithoutamanual (@parentnomanual) March 14, 2015
I’m sorry but I can’t pour your cereal in your backpack! #thingsisaytomytoddler #mommylife
— melbabi (@melbabi) February 20, 2015
#thingsisaytomytoddler : “please don’t put momma’s lipstick on the cat” — courtney (@courtneyhyndman) January 31, 2015
#thingsisaytomytoddler : “tortilla chips do not belong in your nose”
— courtney (@courtneyhyndman) January 30, 2015
#thingsisaytomytoddler : “honey are you singing about chicken nuggets?” — courtney (@courtneyhyndman) January 22, 2015
“Do not put my boots in the refrigerator.” #ThingsISayToMyToddler
— Ashley Pearson (@Ashley_Pear) October 6, 2014
Mommy ate your knee salsa! #ThingsISayToMyToddler — KJ (@PhillyShogun) April 12, 2014
I love going potty you should go potty too. #thingsIsaytomytoddler
— Kal Martin (@KalUndefined) April 7, 2014
#thingsisaytomytoddler: get that bacon out of your toes!
— Heather (@heathgiff) July 19, 2013
You don’t need to serenade your enchilada #thingsisaytomytoddler
— teawithfrodo(@teawithfrodo) December 6, 2012
We don’t rub chicken all over our body #thingsisaytomytoddler
— Jo Beth Bootz(@bootzlife) August 11, 2011
What have you said lately that made you stop and think, “Did I actually just say that?” Comment below, or share it with me via Twitter or Facebook.